| Barack Messiah |
[Nov. 7th, 2008|06:02 pm] |
Another presidential election has come and gone. Having talked with a number of people here in the States, I think the most common feeling about it is that we are glad it’s over. The whole political process here began almost two years ago, and by this time last year I was very confident Obama would win. Whether we voted for Obama or not, most people here have already accepted our soon-to-be president, and are ready to move forward.
What surprises me most, though, hasn’t been how Americans have reacted, but how the rest of the world is reacting. I have read the words of many people from around the world, and it seems like the whole world wanted Obama to be the president. Desperately. My friend Eric, an American living in Holland, wrote here in his blog about how popular Obama is there. My friend Sander, a Dutchman who feels the whole world should be able to vote for the American president, was ecstatic in his response here. And as this Australian points out, everyone he knows felt that Obama was the only real choice for a leader. While I know the rest of the world tends to favor American Democrats, I am still amazed by the incredible excitement that surrounds Obama.
On one hand, I’m glad to have a President that is well received by those in other countries. In fact, I’m thrilled! I sincerely hope this president will have a stronger international mindset and who will make decisions not just based on what he feels is good for America, but for the whole world.
But I am concerned that this world may be putting more hopes into Obama than he will live up to, or perhaps even can live up to. Think I’m exaggerating? My friend in Dubai told us that people were dancing in the streets on the day Obama was elected. “Finally,” they said, “America has elected a Muslim president. Finally we have someone who will get rid of Israel for us!” I don’t even know what Obama’s stance on Israel is, but I can promise you those people in Dubai are going to be strongly disappointed. Wolfgang Ischinger, a former German ambassador to the US, even said, “A new face offers Europe a new chance to remarry America. That's the good news. The bad news is that this outburst of Obama-mania does create expectations which no president can possibly fulfill. Sooner or later there will be some disappointment on the way.” I hope he is wrong, but I suspect he is right, and I wonder what that will mean for the US and the rest of the world.
I am greatly blessed to have a number of international friends who read my blog. Can you explain this “Obama-mania” to me, and to the rest of America? I confess, I do not fully understand it. Why do you have such a powerful admiration for him? What is it that you expect him to do that another person would not? Why are the world’s hopes so firmly set on a man in a foreign country, whose future actions no one really knows?
Perzik |
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| Two down, two to go |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|10:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
There's a lot that's been going on with me, and a lot I've been thinking about.
There was another round of layoffs at my work recently. I wasn't a part of it, thankfully. But I've been around longer than most of the company, and I know they appreciate my work. If they ever let go of me, you'll know things are really bad. And it may get that bad in a few months. So for the first time in years I've started thinking about finding new work. I've got to get my resume together and be ready if I get fired. It may even be wise to start looking now. Certainly, no one in my current workplace would look down on me for leaving right now. But I do like working there, and I'm not sure what course I should take. And there's something else that is complicating that decision.
For most of the time I have been a Christian, I have been a missionary, at least in my heart. I have gone on several short term mission trips, and I loved the two years I spent in Amsterdam, helping the Zolder get started. I still yearn to go back to the field. I have ever since I got back from Holland. I haven't sought anything yet, though, because I didn't feel it was ever the right time. There have been several things which have held me back.
First, I came back from Holland with a very broken heart. I was incredibly lonely, emotionally beaten up or just exhausted, and I needed some time to rest and heal. I went to counseling for a while, which helped me get back on my feet and learn more about myself. I made good friends here, and got involved in a new group of young people at a fantastic church, which gave me a chance to practice my leadership skills. I am very glad for these things, because I really see how I needed them, and how useful they will be when I eventually do leave the US.
Although I wouldn't admit it, there were some other reasons why I was waiting here, too. First, I have enjoyed having a well paying job. Being constantly broke in Amsterdam wasn't fun. But now, I don't have to worry about money, and I have enough to be generous. I like being financially secure. But when that security keeps me from stepping out to do what I was meant to do, it becomes an idol of materialism. I do not look forward to raising support, and I know I would need to live on about half the income I have now. But I remember the parable of the farmer who scattered his seed, and I do not want these thorns to choke the life out of me. So I have let this go.
And while it can be embarrassing to admit, I think most of my readers will understand when I tell you that I also tarried here because I was hoping to find romance. I am a family man at heart, and I think life in general would be easier if I had someone to share the load. Most of us single people really would like to have that special relationship. I had hope I might find it, but that is gone for now. In good conscience, I cannot date any girl who is not also a missionary at heart, and at this point, I simply don't know anyone like that in the entire state. Part of me still didn't want to leave, until recently, when I was able to let that dream go, stop feeling sorry for myself, and fully embrace the beautiful life God has given me. Another idol out of the way, another dimension of freedom in my life, and another step closer to living my purpose.
Which leaves me with two obstacles I still have. The first and only real issue is that I don't know where I should go. Do I try to go back to Amsterdam? Do I go somewhere else in Europe? Do I go some other continent entirely? I have prayed for guidance, but I haven't really received any. Until recently, I don't suppose I was praying very sincerely. I am now. I feel ready to go, or more accurately ready to start that process. But how do know where to go until I receive God's call?
The second obstacle is less important. Once I figure out where to go, I'm not sure how to get there. There are enough missionary organizations which help with this sort of thing, so I'm not too worried about it. Of course, raising support will be a nightmare - one I'm not looking forward to. But then, I don't suppose anyone really does. If God is calling me to go, though, then he'll either find me the support I need, or he'll have something else really wonderful in mind. Either way, I just follow where he leads me and I'll be okay. Of course, if I were to go back to Amsterdam, I would probably have to raise support through GCM, which could be tricky because I'm not a part of GCM right now. But I'm sure that would work itself out too.
And I can't help but wonder at the timing of all of this. I may lose my job in a few months, and I feel free to pursue becoming a missionary again. Is this God lining things up? Should I be looking for another job at all, or looking at raising support? These thoughts are fresh in my mind, and I don't know the answer yet.
If you have any advice or comments on any of this, I'm all ears. I know what the Bible says about having many counselors.
Perzik |
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| So true |
[Jul. 2nd, 2008|08:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
This is the funniest comic I've seen in a long time, and even though I saw it months ago, I thought I would share:
Perzik |
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| Ouch |
[Feb. 10th, 2008|02:39 pm] |
Last week, my old small group at DCC had a mini-reunion. It was good to see everyone and hear all that had changed in their lives over the past year and a half. Partway through the evening, I made a casual observation.
I said, "Hey, check it out. Now I'm the only person in the room that isn't married!"
They responded, "That's not true. Maia isn't married either!"
Maia is the dog. They put me in the same category as the dog.
It's been over a week now, and I still don't know what to say to that.
Perzik |
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| A long, good year |
[Oct. 21st, 2007|12:20 pm] |
Well, it has been just shy of a year since I last wrote anything in my blog, and I know there are still people out there who check it from time to time. I want to apologize to you. You have cared enough about me to check this blog, but I have not been kind enough to let you know what has been going on.
As you would expect, enough has happened in the past year that I really can’t tell you all of it. But I know a brief update is better than none at all.
First, I can tell you things are going much, much better for me. 2006 was a miserable year, full of misfortune and struggles. This year has been easier and much brighter as well. After searching for a church for a long time, and praying about a few good ones, I found my home at Colorado Community Church. I joined a newly formed group of young people there, which has blossomed into a growing community of friends. I am now leading one of the discussion groups for this community, on The Journey of Desire, by John Eldredge. It is strange to be back leading others, but I really feel God wants me to grow in my leadership abilities right now, so I am excited to see where he takes me.
It has been so wonderful to be a part of a thriving community again. I am excited to see where God will take this group, and we continue to grow both in numbers, activity, faith, and love. I have made several close friends there, and I’m sure you can expect to hear more about those people and this church in the blogs to come, even if it takes another year.
I also feel I have grown in ways I never expected to grow this past year. I have seen my own insecurities and anxieties that I never knew I had. I have learned to let go of those anxieties by embracing God’s love, friendship, and strength, in ways I never knew how to do before. I have learned a new patience with myself and others, and live more in grace and trust than I ever have before. I continue to look to the future with hope. For example, over the past two months I have often asked myself the question, “What would your life look like if you truly believed that God would give you all you need for a truly abundant and joyful life every day, ever hour, every minute?" As I realize that God truly does give me all I need for such a life, a peace that goes beyond understand surrounds me, and it has dramatically changed my life.
There are other changes as well. My brother Kevin bought a house recently, and I moved in with him. We both enjoy the new house, and can’t wait for the basement to be finished. Here is a picture from our back porch today:
If you would like to pray for me, here is how you can do it:
First, praise God for all the wonderful things he has done in my life!
Next, pray that God would help me to grow as a leader, and to lead the people in my group well, constantly relying on the Spirit as my guide.
Thanks to all of you who read this, and care enough about me to want to know what’s going on.
God bless you all!
Perzik |
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| In other news |
[Oct. 24th, 2006|05:21 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Be the Center | ] |
And for those really interested, here are some of the other random struggles and events of my life, in no particular order:
( Click here to read about my LASIK surgery )
( Click here to read about the weddings I attended )
( Click here to read about losing my pastor )
( Click here to read about my small group woes )
( Click here to read about my struggles with friends, my church, and dating )
( Click here to read about Urbana )
( Click here to read about Greg )
And that’s what is going on in my life. It’s been a crazy couple of months, full of pain, hope, joy and promise. I’m really grateful for so much, and I can’t wait to see what God does now.
Wow. I write nothing serious for half a year, and then ten pages in less than ten days? |
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| What a difference a second makes |
[Jul. 4th, 2006|07:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Only what's playin' in my head | ] |
Have you ever been instant messaging with someone, and one of your friends messages comes in just before your reply, which makes your reply seem like it says something other than what you meant?
Check out this conversation:
Perzik |
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| Doha Differences |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|04:20 am] |
Well, I was in Doha over a month, and I know a lot of people will want to know what it’s like. You’ll also want to see some pictures; for that you can go to my Doha Picture Page, which also has some other little anecdotes from me. It took a while to get used to things there, just like in any culture. Some things are obvious, but others are not. For instance, the way women dress here is obviously very different than in the States, but that’s a difference everyone knows. I thought I would share a few which might not seem so obvious. At the very least, they were a surprise to me.
( Click here to read about some interesting differences between Qatar and America )
And that was Doha. It’s not a bad place, but I’m glad to be back among friends and family. |
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| Johari |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|04:26 pm] |
Lee Vary showed me this, and I thought it was interesting. It is always a surprise to see how other people see you. It is always a surprise to see how other people see themselves. Do me a favor, take a few minutes and fill out my Johari window. Be sure to leave some sort of name so I will know it is you, even if it is not your real name. Answer it honestly; like every other person in the world, I have weaknesses and issues. I am not ashamed of them, so I hope you will not be either. And if you choose to make your own window, let me know, and I will be happy to answer it.
Perzik |
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| Airports |
[Jan. 31st, 2006|04:39 pm] |
Written in the Denver International Airport:
I sit in an airport, waiting to fly to Chicago, then to London, then to Doha. It is a very long journey, but not the first time I have made this trip, and I am used to long journeys. I am not used to airports. I don't think there is anyplace in the world that quite feels like airports to me. There is no place that brings about so many strong emotions, both good and bad, as airports. I have so many memories, all of which surface when I come into an airport. I remember the first time I flew internationally, going to Kiev, and how it felt to leave the US for the first time. I remember how excited and nervous I was, playing a missionary for the first time. I remember how many wonderful people went with me. I remember going to Italy, suddenly hearing myself speak like a veteran to most of my fellow missionaries because I had been out of the country before. I remember leaving America behind and going to Holland, wishing God would let me stay. I remember leaving Holland behind and going to America, wishing God would let me stay. I remember the joy of going to England, to see Sam Whittington. I remember the frustration and fear of going to Northern Ireland for a vacation, only to be denied entry. I remember going to Austria, to Mexico, to the Czech Republic. I remember going on vacation, going on mission trips, and going to visit friends. I remember going home, and I remember leaving it.
Airports, to me, hold so much promise, danger, adventure, pain, joy, fear, and hope. I suppose that's because airports have brought me to so much promise, danger, adventure, pain, joy, fear, and hope. And so, as I sit in an airport, I can't help but feel a sense of wonder. Airports are supposed to be a place of transition, but too many things have happened to me in airports for me to view them that way. When I sit in an airport, I remember all the things that have happened to me because I have traveled so much, and it makes me think about the future. It makes me realize how much is possible. That scares me, and sometimes I feel sick with the fear, because I know just how bad things can get, and how easy it is to get there. But I also feel excited, embarking on a new adventure, and hopeful as well, knowing there will be remarkable beauty in whatever comes.
And so, I am not used to airports. Although I know my way around them, and am comfortable enough here, each time I am here it feels so fresh, new, and raw. In the end, sitting here with all these happy and painful memories, looking ahead into the great, shrouded future, one single thought comes to mind again and again: I love airports.
Perzik |
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| The Gospel According to LEGO |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|10:49 pm] |
A friend sent this to me a while back, and I thought it was fairly interesting. The old testament renditions I looked at seemed more interesting than the new testament. Unfortunately, while it's a very neat idea, it's put together by an atheist, and it shows in some of his interpretations. Be warned, too, not all of his pictures are entirely work-safe. Fortunately, he states on the front page what to expect in each section.
So go look at The Brick Testament.
Perzik |
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| Da Beard |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|08:57 am] |
I don't think I've used a straight razor in my life, and with my hair, I really doubt I ever want to try. I use an electric razor, and I've had the same one my father gave me almost a decade ago. It still works well. It's a cordless, and when I went on my trip to Europe, I made sure to charge it the night before I left. The first day I woke up in Prague, I got out my razor to shave. I found out it had been switched on sometime in the flight over, completely draining the battery.
So, I decided to grow a beard.
Now, I grew it out a couple months ago, but I realized at a wedding this weekend how many people still didn't know about it.
Perzik |
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| What kind of apologist are you? |
[Aug. 24th, 2005|05:04 pm] |
| You scored as Evidentialist. You are an evidentialist! Apologetics primarily consists in showing the good reasons one has to believe the claims of Christianity. You consistently confound unbelievers with your knowledge of history, science, and Bayesian computation that you learned from John Warwick Montgomery, Gary Habermas, and Richard Swinburne.
Evidentialist | | 80% | Classical Apologist | | 53% | Fideist | | 27% | Reformed/Presuppositional Apologist | | 27% | Atheist | | 0% | </td>
What kind of apologist are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
No surprise there.
Perzik |
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| Short-sighted |
[Aug. 18th, 2005|08:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, "Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?" And Abraham said to God, "If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!" - Genesis 17:17-18
I read these verses two days ago, and every time I do, they make me stop and think. God had promised Abraham something amazing, something wonderful: he would be the father of nations. Not just one nation; many. After this, he had a son, not through his wife, whom he loved and cherished. But God said Sarah would bear him a son, and this would be the child who really held all the promises God had given.
Such an idea was too great for Abraham, at least at first. He never thought he would have any children, so I can only imagine how happy he was to have Ishmael. He already had everything he ever desired, and far more. He had a God who promised him great things, he had great wealth, he had a loving wife, and he had a son to carry on his name. How could he ever hope for more than that? His life already exceeded the dreams he had for most of his life. What could possibly be better?
God knew, but Abraham just couldn't see it.
I strongly identify with Abraham's problem. Now, I am very grateful for the life I'm living, but I wouldn't consider it a dream come true. Not yet, at least. Still, I have a number of dreams for the future, many hopes, and many things I pray for. Some of them seem so grand, I feel foolish thinking about them or asking God for them. Most of them, I am certain, will not come true, and I am perfectly content with that. I think we all have little dreams for the future that aren't hard to give up; some even contradict each other.
But when I read this verse, I have to ask myself this: what could God be planning to do with me that surpasses my dreams? He's done it before. When I was a teenager, I never believed I would ever really achieve happiness, but would live a life of mild depression. I wasn't even sure I wanted to achieve it - it would mean being someone I wasn't, and that scared me a little. I was comfortable where I was. Yet God has given me a life more full and beautiful than I ever dreamed. Even with all the hardships I've endured because of following Christ, this life is far better than the best I thought of back then, and I never saw it coming. Even since I have become a Christian, and begun learning all the amazing things God can and does do, he continues to do things I never expect. I never dreamed I could fall head over heels for God, but I did. I never imagined there could be a church as amazing as the Zolder, but I got to be a part of it. Time after time, God does more than I ever expect.
And I still have the hardest time opening myself up to the idea God can do more than I can see him doing. I still am only able to hold on the the slightest, paper-thin faith in the concept God will continue to lead me into situations different and better than those I have conceived. Sometimes, that faith tears, and like Abraham, I almost reject God's best in favor of what I can see and imagine.
So I guess I will try to hold on to that paper faith, and make it stronger. Mostly, though, I am simply very grateful. God didn't let Abraham's vision for himself get in the way of God's greater vision, and he hasn't with me either. I am grateful it is God's grace, and not my faith, that most strongly determines the course of my life.
Perzik |
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| Lekker! |
[Aug. 12th, 2005|09:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Stoked | ] |
It’s amazing, sometimes, how small things will get you really excited. Yesterday, I did a little bit of looking for Dutch foods online, to see if I could find a place in Denver that might sell some things I’ve been dying to have. As luck would have it, I found that that pretty much has them all, and they deliver, too! I found the site for Dubbel Dutch, and as I went through all the foods they have there, I grew more and more excited. I’ll finally be able to have some belegen kaas (old cheese) again, as well as pannekoeken, met Nederlandse stroop (Dutch pancakes and syrup, a lot different than the American versions). I decided to also get some stroopwafels, of course, and coekjes (cookies). While I don’t normally get very excited over food, I haven’t stopped thinking about this stuff since I ordered it yesterday. I think only an ex-pat (or an ex-ex-pat) can fully appreciate how exciting it can be to have some of the delicious foods from a place you used to call home. I can’t wait! Now if only I can find a place that makes decent shoarma…
So, what are some of the foods that you miss having?
Perzik |
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| Evil |
[Jul. 29th, 2005|11:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
If you haven't read Todd's recent blog entry on the face of evil, click here to read it now. It's the entry under July 28th, called "Seeing." It's spooky, but very powerful.
Perzik |
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drieheren's journal